I'll be home for Christmas...cuz I'm already home!

Hey all, I am home! After 3 days of sitting on a plane I have made it. Things went very smoothly leaving Uganda (although the only form of security was taht a woman asked me if I had anything sharp or any weapons, I said no but when we got to Amsterdam and went through their security I ended up having scissors and another girl had 5 knives she was bringing home...oops!) We had 9 hour layover in Amsterdam so we made the most of it and went into the city. It was beautiful but so super cold! We made it into Washington D.C. about an hour late only to find they had lost one of my bags, the one with all the presents :( I was told it should arrive at my house today (Friday) so I'm praying that comes true. On the way to Phoenix I was delayed and ended up getting in about 2 hours late, not fun! Sky Harbor's computer system went down so I spend over half an hour sitting on the tarmack waiting for a spot to open up so we could park our plane and go see my family. But I am home now, I have eaten good food, taken a bath and slept a whole night in my bed! Chris comes today so once that happens I will really feel at home. Oh, and my host dad called today!! I AM A GODMOTHER!! My Godson, Christopher Daniel was born on December 17th! I just barely missed the little guy but he is here and healthy. They are all very excited about the new addition to our family. If I get pictures I will post them, I'm sure he is so super cute! As far as pictures, here are a few of my favorites. There are many to choose from considering I have over 7,000 on my computer right now!


The entire Uganda Studies Group on Trevan's BirthdayMy sweet sister Faith, she fell asleep at our farewell dinner which is totally out of her nature but so so sweet!
I met this little girl when we went to the circumcision ceremony, she was drunk on local brew but was so happy and playful, I think, other than Faith, she was the cutest kid I saw.
Another picture of Faith, wow how she has grown in 4 months, I loved her smile and laugh!
This is the waterfall we hiked to the bottom of in Sipi Falls, I don't think I can even explane how impressive it was, it was absolutely incredible!

More pictures to come! If you live in Phoenix and go to ODF, see you on Sunday! Everyone else, I can't wait to catch up although the next few weeks are super busy. Merry Christmas everyone!

It's begining to look a lot like Christmas...even in Uganda!

Last night about 10 of us went Christmas caroling to our families. We had an absolute blast! Everyone got to pick 2 songs they wanted to sing to their family and then we closed with We Wish you a Merry Christmas! If they were traditional songs they would usually sing along. We had many visitors at my house when we went and they were all super excited to see us. Unfortunately my dad wasn't there so we sang to him when I was dropped off at the end. It is customary here that when a visitor comes you give them a snack and tea, instead we accepted juice and bread at one house and told the rest we didn't have time. But as soon as I walked in my house I was given my bread and nuts! We also went to the three leader's houses and to honors college where the rest of the American Students who stay on campus live. I bought chocolates to give my family so when I came we all shared some "sweets" It was so fun, oh and it rained here, finally!! So it actually got cold, it felt a tiny bit like winter weather.

I'm getting really sad to leave my family, I have ahd my stuff packed for a few days (only because I do it when my family is gone so I don't miss out on family time) so my room looks super sad and empty. We officially leave on Saturday at 8 for debrief so I have about 48 hours left in Mukono. Our plane will leave on Tuesday at about 11 for Amsterdam, after an 8 hr layover we will be in Washington D.C. on the afternoon of the 17th. I fly out the next morning and will be in Phoenix at 4:15 on Thursday! I can't wait to be home but it will definately be bitter sweet.

Tomorrow night I will celebrate Christmas with this family, the highlight of the gift time being a sewing machine for Rachel!! Thanks Grandma for doing that!! Faith will get books, the girls pencils and my parents will get pictures and baby things!! I can't wait, I will probably not update again, until I'm back in the states so don't get worried. I am fine and I'm comin home!!!

Preparation for a Long Awaited Homecoming

I'm not even sure how to start this one off...I feel like that with most of these blogs...

I come home 2 weeks from today, in 8 days I leave for debrief and in 12 days the plane leaves for the States. How do I prepare, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically. Yes I can pack but how do I bring all the emotions, memories, struggles, heartaches, joys, stories, pictures, and delights of the past four months back to everyone? I feel so overwhelmed and I haven't even started my journey back. So I am now asking something of you. Please be patient with me, be slow and let it come with time. I don't even have it sorted out so how can I tell you? Fresh off the plane or 5 years from now I will not be able to answer questions like "what was your favorite/hardest part of Africa? What was the biggest struggle or most impactful experience?" I can't/won't do it. I cannot put Africa into a box. From the outside this may seem like a vacation or merely a study abroad experience but to me it was a spirtual awakening, a glimpse of God and a time when I changed more than I think I even know. So please be slow, my heart is hurting, excited and broken from living here. I am confused and excited and the stories and pictures will come, I promise, I am so excited to tell you all what it is like but I need some time. Right when I come home it will be Christmas which will be spent with family and Chris and then I will spend 2 weeks with Chris in Sacramento before he goes to Costa Rica for 3 months. And that will be equally hard for me to process and come to grips with him leaving now. My parents and I have already talked about doing a big time of sharing and showing pictures which all are invited to but it will not be until the end of January at least. I don't need things to all be figured out before I can share but I can't be as open about specific experiences until I figure out what I even feel about them.

I am not trying to scare anyone off from talking to me, even about Africa, but don't be suprised if my answers are vague or even if I start crying. And trust me, there will be pictures to share...over 3,000 of them!

On a happier note, cuz I don't like to end these quite like that...school is over for the primary schools here so my mom and dad have been a lot less busy so they are home a lot more during the day. And Joan was confirmed 2 weeks ago and her 14 yr old sister came and has stayed ever since. She is really sweet! I love her tons! Tomorrow my mom and I are going to buy a sewing machine for Rachel that I will give her sometime next week before I leave. Still no stinkin baby but please pray "he" is born before I leave (I think it is a boy, we shall see !!). Tomorrow Stephanie and I are going into Kampala to get some really cool Christmas gifts (can't tell what it is :)...) and ingredients to make pancakes for my family on Saturday morning. Then we are going to come into school and skype my family!! Both of my familes will finally meet!!

I can't wait to see you all in just 2 weeks! I'm really really looking forward to being back and not killing cockroaches (4 last night) and listening to mice all night! And finally a hot hot shower!! Yay! But most of all seeing my family and Chris and just spending time being together again!

Honored

Today I feel honored, I feel honored to have been called to go to a far away land, to love unloved people, to experience new things, Honored to have been loved by my host family and many others. Honored to have rafted the Nile and seen monkeys. Honored that I was chosen to come to this place. It ahs been so hard, harder than I could ever have thought but it’s an honor to be tested, stretched, broken, humbled only to fall into the arms of the one who has loved me through it all. I am honored to have cried all the tears I have cried because I got to see the heart of God that much more clearly even through the tears. I am honored to be covered in red dirt because that means I am in Africa. I am honored to be one of few people who will ever get to live in a foreign country for 4 months with an extraordinary host family. I am honored to see the handprint of God in a whole new context, honored to see stars that we cannot see in the Northern Hemisphere in the U.S. Honored that I came here and will not leave unchanged. I am honored to have been torn down so I could learn how to love. I am honored to have heard many different opinions on missions and on God so I could solidify my faith. I am honored to have lived in a place where community is huge and resembles the early Christian church. I am honored to eat beans and rice every day because I can enter into others suffering in an appropriate manner. I am honored to have had a bucket bath or freezing shower every day so I can learn how to be even more thankful. I am honored to be separated from my family and Chris for 4 months so I could learn how to love them and how to serve them better. I am honored to have killed a chicken and cooked a meal over a charcoal stove or wood burning stove because now I can appreciate my huge kitchen and the things God has blessed my life back home with. I am honored to have met close friends who I will treasure and love for the rest of my life. I am honored to have struggled so I could find happiness. Africa has changed me drastically, Josh told me when I left that the best advice he got before he left for Costa Rica was to not expect to return the same. With that expectation I have lived the life of an African realizing that my American attitude needed to be transformed. Not a single day that I have been here have I not seen or felt God in a very real way. I have learned how close to me He is if I just reach out to take His hand. I am humbled and honored mostly to be a child of God and to realize that no matter how far from home I may go, he is there to guide, challenge and love me through it all. I can honestly say this has been the hardest, most challenging and often times the most frustrating time of my life but it has also been the most growing, most humbling, and most exciting time of my life where I have come to closely know the God who brought me here. When I first left I had no idea why I was going, I did not want to go and I was incredibly fearful. Of all the things I have learned, the most important is that God is near, he is big but he is close, especially when your heart is lonely and broken. I do not think I could have learned these lessons sitting in my dorm room at Biola, I had to be completely isolated in a tiny town in Africa seeing starving, barefoot children and living with a family who makes less than $375 a year for me to have seen how very close God was. I will not come back the same; Africa has renewed, strengthened and illuminated my faith in the most extraordinary way!

Splish, Splash!!

In just a few hours I am leaving for a weekend trip to raft the Nile! They are supposed to be class 5 rapids so it is going to be super intense! This is the last year people will be able to raft the Nile because they are going to Dam it at the source. I'm so glad for this opportunity! One, semi funny thing, there are really bad parasites in Lake Victoria and the Nile so as we are stepping on the plane they hand us all some medicine we have to take 6 weeks after rafting so we can kill it. I can just picture them saying, have a great flight here's some parasite meds (OIA).

Other than that, things are still pretty much the same from the last time I wrote. Still tears and smiles all within a few minutes of each other. Still pushing through and trying to find God in the midst of a really hard living situation. I am excited for a break from "reality" this weekend and maybe even have a hot shower! I will write soon to update you all on this weekend, it should be a blast!!!

29 More Days!

So many people have asked me in the past few days how I am doing…how am I doing? I don’t even know. So many people have also asked, how is Africa? Where do I start? Do I start with saying it is good and I love being with my family, I love learning new things and being a part of an exciting adventure, I love learning a new language and finding out about Africa. I love that God has come so close to me and grown my heart in ways I could not imagine. That I have learned lessons that I could have only learned in Africa. Or do I start by saying this has been the hardest 4 months of my life. That it is devastating to see starving kids with bloated bellies and no shoes and a baby on their back unable to go to school because they are too poor. Do I say that there are devastating statistics like 2,000,000 orphans in Uganda alone, that’s almost the size of Phoenix. Do I tell of the corruption of the Ugandan government that all the Ugandans feel? Do I talk of the strive occurring in Congo that shows up on every newscast and the floods of refugees that are streaming into Uganda daily. Do I talk of the hundreds of child soldiers that have been abducted by the LRA just since I’ve been here? So many hard realities of this beautiful place that is called the Pearl of Africa.

I don’t even know how to talk about these things, I haven’t posted for a while because I don’t know what to say, the “Africa is a funny place” was a cop out to buy my more time because I am so confused. How does my heart face these realities that I see every single day? The hardest thing I have experienced while here is I don’t know how to deal with this experience and I don’t know how to process it. Yes I can talk with the other USP students but we are all in the same boat. We all have the same struggles. Yes I can pray and talk everything through with God, and I do. Yes I can read my Bible, David has been a great comfort, but how do I even begin to sort things out and help my heart not feel so clogged up? Almost every time my family or Chris call I end up in tears, I just want to feel safe and secure again. I want to feel loved and cared for. I want to be able to talk about these things with people who can offer insight and wisdom into something that has drastically changed me.

Another challenge, that relates, is that there is no sort of fellowship. Church is different and very mundane, not to offend anyone from the Anglican Church but it isn’t normal and I don’t feel “filled up.” Even chapel is very dry. They spend over 25 min doing announcements and then deliver health and wealth gospel message that usually leaves us pretty angry. I feel like I am constantly being emotionally drained from the rigors of daily life but never being built up.

I know this sounds like a lot of complaining. I promise Africa is a wonderful place. There are wonderful things I will tell you all about when I come home when I can show you pictures of the wonderful people and places, but life here is so hard. I’m really struggling right now with not wanting to leave my host family but wanting to feel secure, to know that I am deeply loved, wanted and valued.

On a very very big side note, my family has asked me to be the godparent of the new baby! So pray “it” comes before I leave, I really need to meet my godchild.

And last night I finally at the grasshopper, it tasted like a crispy French fry but I just couldn’t get past the fact that it was a grasshopper so I could only do one. My dad loves taking pictures when I try something new so there are pictures!

I only have 29 more days till I am home and 25 more days till I leave my family for debrief, please pray that I can feel a little less depressed and stressed so that I can fully engage and enjoy them for my last month. I love them so so much and don’t want to miss a minute with them! Also, as mentioned earlier in blogs and as you have probably heard, please be praying for the situation in the Congo, literally millions of people have come here and are in displacement camps. These camps give them a place to live but are a breeding ground for HIV/AIDS, disease, tension, starvation and other horrible things. Please pray for the conflict to end so these innocent victims can return home safely to their homes!

Africa is a funny place

I think I have mentioned before, among the American students we have a saying "OIA" (Only In Africa). We say this often when things happen that can only be explained by using this saying. Let me share with you a few of these things.

1. This one is a little heavier but I promise it will be funny. Picture me 16 years ago. My mom calls Josh, Sean and I in from the sand box to watch Clinton's Inauguration. Here is what my 5 1/2 year old brain understands about him. I desperately wanted a baby sister, after praying for a year and a half my mom gets pregnant (she may not have planned it but I always knew I would get my sister). So she is a few months from being born and I know, somehow, that Clinton supported abortion. Throughout the whole inauguration I balled, then my mom noticed sand crawling in Sean's hear, wait sand doesn't crawl...we had lice!

So here I am 16 years later, in Africa, I'm 20, and we have no elected a president who has radical views on abortion. My dad and I had a small discussion on the topic so when I found out I cried again. I felt like I was 5 1/2 again, why does anyone kill babies? Give them to me! I had a small flashback to 16 years ago, I'm still sad but feeling more my age.

2. One thing that helps us through all the hard days is exercising. They really encourage those of us who exercise at home to exercise here as well, like my 4 miles of walking to and from school isn't enough. So my exercise partner Stephanie and I try to get out every morning to run, do abs and some arm stuff too. Well, I've been having the lung issues so a few weeks ago I decided not to run as much, but to do lunges, squats and other various exercises. So I decided I needed a little more weight, are there any normal free weights in Africa? Of course not…so what do you use? Picture this, I look around and there are numerous boulders. Yes, I started doing overhead presses and squats with a boulder. I will try it again and have Stephanie take a picture.

Oh, and another thing, running on the “track” which is often a muddy swamp, you can encounter many obstacles. I live 30 miles from the nearest lake yet there was a rotting fish on the side. Gross! Also, you can often encounter cars, cows and chickens. It is necessary for us to always keep our eyes open so as not to run into any livestock.

3. So in the United States we have apple seasons, orange seasons, etc…guess what kind of seasons Uganda has. Well, for starters, the white ant season has already passed. White ants are huge flying insects that they fry and eat. But, there is a new season that is just coming. It’s the grasshopper season!! And guess what, we eat them too!! After we run we go up to the dorms to take a shower in the sub-zero showers and they are infested with them. The first day I counted 21, today 27. Yep, tons of 2-3 inch green, grey or brown grasshoppers that make a screaming noise and run or fly at you. It’s super gross.

4. And lastly, you may laugh at this but at 4 am this morning I wasn’t laughing. We had 2 chickens yesterday that someone gave to my family. A hen and a cock. Well the hen was sick with a respiratory thing so we killed her right away to eat her. Yes that’s right, when a chicken gets sick the obvious answer is to just eat the sick chicken. They say I won’t get sick, let’s hope not! The cock gets to live until Sunday, unfortunately since he couldn’t be with the hen he got to hang out in the house. He decided to make his little home right in front of my bedroom door. Gross. Then when it was time to go to sleep I thought we would put him outside, that sounds logical right? Wrong! He “slept” inside. He was a very confused rooster though. He thought sunrise was at 3 am when it doesn’t actually happen till about 6:15. He crowed 10 crows every 20 minutes from 3 am until I finally left the house at about 6:10…my family had told me the day before I was the one responsible for killing, plucking and gutting him. I quickly declined but by about 4 am I was more than ready to slaughter that sucker!

Anyway, that is the funny happenings around here. I hope you are all doing wonderful. Gaze at a beautiful autumn tree for me. I’m missing autumn more than I thought I would. Have a wonderful Thursday! Love you all!

Back from the Bush...and Jungle

I ended up going on my rural home stay, just 2 days late. I went to the Dr. last Monday morning and after a very intimidating time (he is a British doctor who thinks he is always right) he diagnosed me with a strained diaphragm...hmm, what does that mean? I had blood drawn, which consisted of a few tears since I hate needles and I had to do it all alone. As soon as we got back to school I was off.

I traveled to Soroti, a warm bush climate to meet my family. My father met us on the road and took us back to the house. He owned 11 acres and had all kinds of different crops including maize, ripes (bananas), oranges, pumpkin, mangos, paw paw (papaya), beans etc. He, his brothers and a neighbor were in a coop to try to harvest the perfect fruits. I told them how my family had a cocktail tree when I was growing up and they were excited to try that with their new seedlings. We also had 40 chickens, 20 turkeys, 20 goats and of course many spiders and cockroaches and massive rats. Their coop had also tried to breed the perfect animals; we had one dwarf goat and one giant goat as a result of their experiments.

My father was a very intelligent man, a head master; however, he was very stuck in the gender roles of many Africans. He told me that the first day I was a guest but after that I was to cook for him and be in the kitchen because that is where women belong. He also took me around to all of the brothers and neighbors to "show me off." He would introduce me to everyone as "his mzungu." After about the 10th house we went to I asked to go home because I couldn't take it anymore, I was more of a prize or show and tell than a person. I felt very subjected by him and by my skin color, more by him than by almost anyone else since I've been here.

On the other hand, I adored my host mom. She was a gorgeous, mother of 8, grandmother of 2 and the sweetest lady every. Many of the neighbor girls would come over with their babies and ask for advice about parenting or how to run their houses. It was a sweet picture to see the young neighbors with their babies, and my old mom with her grand daughter on her lap. She was so kind and tender and had the sweetest smile and laugh. I cannot wait to show you all pictures, she was amazing!

Three daughters lived with them; I shared a mud hut with two of them. Their son Dan, who was about 10 also lived there, he was very smart and spoke great English. Two of the grandkids from 2 of their daughters lived with them also while their parents were working near the Congo border. My favorites were the two grandkids, Tony and Tina; they were the cutest kids I have seen in Africa. Absolutely beautiful, just like their grandmother!

After the home stay, which for me only lasted 2 days, we stayed in Soroti town for 2 days as a whole group. It was a great time of relaxing, playing games, fellowship, laughing and making new friends.

We left Soroti town for Sipi Falls for three days. It was absolutely breathtaking. We stayed at a rest camp in mud houses again but it faced a cliff with a 200 ft. waterfall. On Saturday we got to hike from the very top to the very bottom. At the bottom the mist from the fall was so intense I was drenched for the 2-hour hike back up. I was literally blown away standing looking into the vastness of the waterfall. It was absolutely incredible. I don't know if I have ever been somewhere so beautiful. Again, I can't wait to show you pictures. That evening Grace and I took some time to go out and look up at the stars. There is no power so no city lights. The vastness of the stars took my breath away; it reminded me of this summer with my dad looking at the stars in Ouray, Colorado. We talked about the promise to Abraham that God would make his descendants greater than the number of the stars. It was incredible for me to think that I had seen so many stars this summer but they are completely different than the ones I saw this weekend since I am in the Southern hemisphere. I may feel very small and insignificant but God seemed really really big this weekend.

Please be praying for me over the next 6 weeks, I have 45 days till I come home but it feels very hard right now. Our director asked if it all feels down hill from here but to me it feels all uphill with home being way up a mountain. In talking with my parents I started crying, which I haven't done for over a week, realizing how heavy my heart is. So many hard things have happened here and there is no support from the staff here, no one to process with or to talk things through with. I told my parents, I see starving kids every where, this morning on my way to school 3 men asked me to marry them, a girl yesterday got a very disturbing email from a Ugandan students, and another had one show up to her house, I have felt subjected for 3 months for being a woman and white and have never had someone to come along side me and be there for me. I can't wait to come home but still really want to not waste my last time here.

Please also be praying for Uganda and the Congo, if you have not heard in the midst of election chaos, the rebels have advanced and Goma, the Congo border city to Gisenyi, Uganda. Many Americans have been evacuated and the situation is tense, we are fine here but the situation with the rebels is constantly.

Lastly, if any of you want really cute cards for Christmas or anything, google Cards From Africa. It is a British guy in Rwanda who has employed victims of Rwandan genocide. They are mostly kids who have to support their families. Read the description on their website, they are all hand made and beautiful. Pricey but worth it! Love and miss you all!

My own "Shack"

I started reading The Shack...yesterday. I'm on chapter like 6 and already I feel a little like Mack

Maybe this is my Shack...maybe I am here to meet with God in a uniquely intimate way. At one point it talks about how he has no understanding of why he is walking toward the shack, his feet are moving but he doesn't want them to be. I felt like that a lot when I was filling out my study abroad application. Then I arrived and there was no turning back. I was captivated and terrified at the same time. But God was ever present. Even now when I feel my "Great Sadness" creep over me God is ever present in a profound way. Maybe the whole purpose of this whole four month adventure is to draw me out alone to have an intimate conversation with me.

As dumb as it may seem, Chris lost his phone for about a week and just found it a few days ago. I couldn't call him when things got hard or I needed encouragement and with the time difference there are hours I simply cannot call. And now with being sick and having the rest of the American students gone I truly feel alone. I have been reading through 1 Samuel, thanks to my mom and dad, and through Psalms. David faced really lonely and hard times with Saul wanting to kill him. There are some heart wrenching Psalms where he wrestles with God and then rejoices a few minutes later. I have identified with David so much lately. I cannot say that I have ever had such a drive and hunger to read the Bible and spend time praying. I feel so lonely sometimes and when there is literally no one to talk to God has always been sitting there ready to listen. He hasn't quite taken the form of God in The Shack but he has been so close.

For any of you who have no clue what I am talking about go to Costco and buy The Shack by William P. Young for $8. Its so good!!

So, I will see you all in about 2 months! God and I have to finish our little hang out time and then I will be right there. I love and miss you all!

Or maybe not...

I am the only study abroad student sitting on this campus...a little lonely? for sure! I decided not to go on my Rural home stay...it was a super hard decision, tears are still flowing, but I don't feel like can risk my health that much. So far I haven't seen any signs of improvement with the pleurisy and now I also have and infected lymph node. Which may be good considering I forgot to pack toothpaste :( I will be staying with my host family for this week or until I feel well enough to go and join everyone. I am praying that in the next few days, or tomorrow morning, I can join everyone. I walked to school today in a lot of pain from carrying everything and it was about then that I realized I was probably not going to go. I was so excited for another adventure and something exciting to pass the days, unfortunately, I'm here, alone, no movies, no comfort, no white people even. Wow, I miss home. I really try hard not to count down the days but one thing I have learned very clearly is that I love home, I love being with the people I love and who love me back. I love feeling safe and having things be certain for me. I love American food and warm showers. I love leaves changing colors in the fall and the Christmas spirit.

I think one of the biggest things God has been teaching me while I am here is that I am NOT going to be a missionary. I love the poor and the hurting. I love to hold starving babies and kiss their matted heads. I love adventures and new things but not for long periods of time, especially when I am so far from people I really care about. This has really solidified my want to be an inner-city teacher and to love on the poor of America. I don't think I will ever not be involved in missions with whatever church I am attending but I do not think I am called to be a missionary, it is hard and they are strong people. I respect missionaries even more now because I know I could never do it.

Now that I have a week of free time I think I may teach my family a little about Halloween and carve some pumpkins! I can't wait to see Faith's face when her pumpkin is lit up! After it is all finished we will probably eat it for supper! Anyway, I hope you all are doing well. I am over halfway done and can't wait to be back with you all!

So long, farewell...for a week

Rural home stays start tomorrow!! We have a midterm early tomorrow morning and then we will set off..there is a lot of excitement and even more apprehension about it. Who will our families be? What type of house will we life in? What type of work will they do? We already know not to expect any electricity or communication with home and to be very flexible. Like with coming here we know nothing about our families, but this time tomorrow we will be sitting a table talking and learning about one another. So, communication will be zero until November 1.

Please be praying for me, it is Thursday evening and I am still not sure whether or not I will even be able to go. I have pleurisy, which is super painful and makes it really hard to breathe. Since I am not known for having the best lungs and I will be stuck in the middle of the African bush I want to be extra careful as far as health. If I am not feeling better by tomorrow morning I will probably stay until next Friday and meet up with the rest of the group at Sipi Falls. I would be super disappointed but I also do not want to risk anything. Please pray for quick healing tonight and for the rest of the week. Please pray for safety to and from Kapchorwa. Pray for a great time with a new family, for new lessons and experiences and new ways of seeing God when we are really on our own (our closest neighbor should be an hours walk away). We will be home on Sunday, November 2! Can't wait for my next blog to update you all on what happened!

So much to talk about

Wow, so much has happened this past week. I have done so many things that I will literally never forget. I will be brief; however, because something more exciting has happened...

First, I killed a chicken. Yes, me by myself cut off a chicken's head. Gross! Then Sam grabbed her by the feet and poured steaming hot water over her body to make the feathers come out more easily. For the next five minutes we pulled her smelly, dirty feathers out. When they were gone she was so naked, I said she looked cold and had goose bumps, my whole family laughed at me! Sam then took out the heart, lungs, liver, gizzard and intestines. Then I had to pull the stomach out through the hole where her head used to be. She actually had an egg she was about to lay and 2 that were not quite formed yet. They say the next time I have to do all the work of gutting her but I think once was enough. Little Elliot (read the Josephina Quilt Story) made dinner for us that night but I had a little trouble stomaching the chicken I had just killed. I only ate a tiny bit and can never look at a chicken in the eyes again. I am so very thankful for our already killed, plucked and gutted chickens that we can find in abundance!

Then this weekend we all piled into a bus to "find" a circumcision ceremony. We traveled about 4 hours to Mbale, which is a beautiful area in the shadow of Mt. Elgon. We met with a Christian man from the Bugisu tribe who explained, in detail...for 2 hours. He had "pre-arranged" for us to watch a ceremony at 4 that afternoon. I cannot and will not go into detail at all about what happened. It was by far the most intense experience I have had since I have been here. I am more than willing to talk about all the emotions and the whole experience but I want to do it in person when I come home. Not all of Africa, or any of my experience has been like that so I still want time to think it over and convey it in an appropriate light. So, ask me more when I come home...I can say I am sort of glad I went but will never go again!

Ok, so the good news! Chris found out about Costa Rica on Friday. I was super nervous and didn't know what to expect or even what I wanted. So, God decided at 4 that morning it was time to have a chat. I prayed and prayed it over and just asked God to give me comfort either way. If he was accepted it was an amazing opportunity for him but sad that we would be apart. If he was rejected I would be so sad he wasn't able to go but happy to be together again. I really started to pray that in either situation God would help me to respect and honor Chris. That no matter what the outcome I would think of him first and set my emotions aside so I could support him. This wasn't as simple as I may have just put it; I lay in my bed crying for over an hour and a half. I was crying and asking why God has to ask for so much, why can't life just be easier? Sometimes I feel like God asks for so much and doesn't realize how hard it is. The more God asks for the harder it gets, I want it to be easy and comfortable again. With transferring to Biola and then coming here and now Chris maybe going to Costa Rica...why can't it just be easy? So in the midst of not understanding and hurting, I prayed for the peace that God can see my future and Chris' and that his way is higher than mine. As I was praying I kept asking why? why? and I could hear him say "My way is higher than yours, trust me with this, give me your heart I will not fail you." That morning Chris and I talked for about two hours and I told him I supported him either way and was praying for us. I told him I was proud of him and so lucky to get to walk this part of our lives together. I anxiously awaited the call and at 8:30 that evening I got the call. HE IS IN!! He is so excited and I am so proud. I am still sad to be away for another four months but when ever will we have opportunities like this? He has added a Spanish minor and so far loves it so this opportunity is wonderful and will probably help him to get into the nursing program! And, if I can figure it out financially, I will probably visit him for Spring Break!! So I am still sad but so excited for him!

Again, as I was praying through this situation I was listening to Bebo Norman and the song that stuck out the most was...

Yes I Will
In the passion of Your sacrifice
I saw the prophecy fulfilled
The Healer of the world, the wounded Christ
I heard You say, come follow me
So I will, yes I will

Follow You Jesus, all the way up that hill
I will follow you
Follow You Jesus, all the way up that hill
To the cross where the river runs
Crimson even still, yes I will
Follow You Lord. Follow you, I will Yes I will

On the sacred path, You bled for us
Scorned and broken, up that hill
How terrible the cross, how glorious
I heard You say, come follow me
So I will, So I will, yes I will, yes I will
Follow You Jesus, all the way up that hill
I will follow you

Follow You Jesus, all the way up that hill
To the cross where the river runs
Crimson even still, yes I will
Follow You Lord. Follow you, I will Yes I will

Will I stumble in the darkness?
In my weakness, when I feel afraid
Hear me Jesus, Hear me Jesus, when I call Your name
Oh help me Lord, won't You help me Lord
Please help me Lord
Would you help me Lord

Follow You Jesus, all the way up that hill
I will follow you
Follow You Jesus, all the way up that hill
To the cross where the river runs
Crimson even still, yes I will
Follow You Lord. Follow you, I will

Help me Jesus, when I feel afraid

Jesus is calling me to follow him all the way up that hill...to leave it all behind in search of him. That doesn't mean forgetting about it but just surrendering it into his hands. In this situation I need to leave it in Jesus hands and follow his call. If he can sacrifice his life, I can sacrifice comfort and 4 months of living close. So...Chris is off to Costa Rica and hopefully I can visit, I am trying to trust God in the midst of it being hard.

In other news, this Wednesday marks half way of this whole experience. Please pray that I will enjoy this last half and homesickness will stay at a good level. Please pray for Chris and I as we prepare for more separation. Please pray for me because I have some sort of flu thing and haven't eaten much in 2 days. I am starting to look forward greatly to being home and seeing familiar faces! I miss you all so so much!

Lions and Elephants and Hippos, Oh MY!!

Yes this weekend I went on a Safari! What and amazing experience. We roughed it a little and stayed in tents in the bush next to the lake. That was good and bad, the hippos then had free reign over our area. Each night as we were climbing into our tents a hippo would walk right through the campsite. They are big awkward animals but they have huge teeth and can run up to 35 miles per hour so I chose not to mess with them. Usually there was a littler one and a bigger one who would stroll on by munching on the grass.

The first morning we woke up and left at 6:30, the first thing we saw were tons of warthogs and some cod. Then some elephants, they are huge! We could come within like 20 feet of them, which is amazing but a little scary because at any moment they can get mad and charge the van. We had rented a pop-top van so we got to sit on the roof and observe the animals. Later after driving for about 2 hours we finally saw two lionesses! It was so amazing to see wild animals that are that huge. It made me really feel like I live in Africa. We were only out for about 3 hours but got to see so much.

We came home and I got to rest and sit on a beautiful porch for 5 hours watching hippos swim in the lakes. It was literally the first chance I have had to sit and rest. I was able to journal and read my Bible. I actually felt a little refreshed after 5 hours of nothing!

Then we left again for an evening safari from 4:30-7:30. We right away saw a herd of elephant and one of them had a tiny baby that could fit under her legs. It was super cute! We then saw many more cod, water buck, water buffalo and warthogs but we really wanted to see more lions. Our prayers came true when we noticed about 6 lionesses lying underneath a tree. After about 5 minutes we realized there were 2 little cubs wrestling on the ground! We watched them for about half an hour. We were about 100 yards from them, which was close enough for my comfort, but our driver assured us that we were safe; lionesses take a long time to make decisions apparently.

Overall the weekend was an amazing time to rest and regroup for another week. It is often hard though to do these things alone. Before I left Chris told me to take a picture with Simba but to not touch the hippos, when I saw both I thought of him. I thought how much my dad would love to sit and watch the sunset with me and how much my mom would have loved to sit with me on the porch and soak it all in. I thought about how much my sister would have loved to sit on top of the car belting out The Circle of Life song with me. All these experiences are so fun but they are somewhat dampened when someone you love is not next to you sharing it with you. I have told Chris many times how much sweeter these experiences would be if he could do it with me. I wish I could see their faces as they take in the joy of life. I wish I didn't have to tell my family and Chris about this but that they could actually do it with me.

On a more positive note...I promise next week's post to be very entertaining...tonight I am going to kill a chicken for dinner and this weekend I am going to a circumcision ceremony in Mbale!! It should be fun!

Please be praying for me, these past two weeks have been very hard. I am probably the most homesick I have ever been and life is just getting difficult. I have been told that these are generally the hardest weeks but that doesn't make it any easier. Chris will find out probably tomorrow whether or not he was accepted to study abroad next semester in Costa Rica, which would mean another 4 months apart. I am missing our anniversary on the 31st and am just struggling with being so far from him. Life here is not much different but it is still just as foreign. There has been little comfort (I actually ate raisins last night which was a huge treat!). Please pray that at this time I would be able to focus on why I am here, that God would meet me in my loneliness and show me himself more and more. Please pray for a wonderful time despite wanting to be home so badly.

On a side note...the sunrise was spectacular this morning. It was bright orange and the whole sky was lit up. I walked extra slowly so I could watch it all!

Monkeys and pygmies and an earthquake!

So for a more in depth update. This weekend we drove 13 hours to Western Uganda to visit a doctor in Bwindi. Unfortunately the doctor was stuck in Kampala so we met with a man named Richard. On Saturday morning he showed us around the hospital and then took us on a 4o min hike up a beautiful mountain to build a mud hut!!! Before leaving I literally almost ran into a monkey in a tree, Richard brought out bananas and I got to feed a wild monkey! The little one reached down from the tree and took it right out of my hand. However, I held out a banana to a big monkey and he ran at me, which scared me, so I screamed and threw the banana at hime! We were told we were going to be working with the Batwa people; they are pygmies who are some of the poorest in the area. They had already built some of the framework but our job was to tie the rods together with banana reeds. It was a tedious but so fun process. It was great to finally get to be used, I feel like so often we hear about different missionaries and we hear about the different projects but the problem is that we never actually get to do the projects. I worked along side many men and women who were so thankful we came to help. They loved that we could actually tie the knots that were up high; an average height for the pygmies is about 4 1/2 ft. tall. We took a few hours to tie the knots and stopped before mudding the house to eat some lunch. After the Batwa had finished their lunch of posho, and we had finished our lunch of cheese sandwiches, we began mixing mud. We mixed so much I felt like we could have mudded over 3 houses but since I am so inexperienced I did not know it was only enough to make the corners of the one house we had begun. After we were finished they performed a dance for us. One little girl broke out of the group to grab one of us to dance with...she came right to me!! We all really love dancing with the people here. I know this may be hard for some of you to imagine but I do dance often here! Afterward a man named Bernard showed us how to make fire by rubbing sticks together, it actually worked! Then he showed us bowls, hand carved gorillas and necklaces we could buy. Of course I did, I really like to buy things from people I have a relationship with so there is a story behind what I bought. Overall the day was amazing. Then that night, as we were all peacefully sleeping at 3 AM another earthquake!! It was really small, I was actually the only one who felt it so I woke up the rest of my cabin so they could feel it too! Apparently earthquakes are rare here but I've been in 2 in less than a week! SO FUN!!

On Sunday we woke up early, drove for 40 min and then hiked about an hour to church. There was one point where I literally could have thrown a stone and it would have landed in the Congo.
The service was a usual Anglican church service with its little African twists like auctioning off food for the offering. We went to a man named Erik's house for lunch and then walked back to the bus in the rain.

On our drive home we got 3 flat tires, stopped for 3 hours for lunch at our driver's mom's house. She had made the absolute best beans ever! All in all it took over 17 hours to return which scared our host families since we did not return until midnight on Monday night. This was my favorite weekend of our whole time. It was amazing to be able to get out of a classroom and actually serve people. I loved holding a little Batwa baby named William who peed all over me and dancing with the sweet little girl. I love the people of Uganda, God has made them so uniquely in his image and he portrays himself in such a beautiful light through them.

For those of you who do not know, for years there has been great conflict in Sudan, Congo and Uganda. Joseph Coney and his rebel army the LRA (Lords Resistance Army) have been trying to over throw the government. Unfortunately he recognized that some of the most efficient soldiers are child soldiers. Many boys are abducted to be soldiers and girls are used as sex slaves. We are talking little kids, like 7 or 8. He has gained power over the years and it is a pretty big conflict now. For over a year peace talks have been occurring but not much has changed. Where we stayed this weekend was right in the middle of some of the problem areas, not at all as dangerous as Northern Uganda, but there were rebel soldiers in the hills of Bwindi. This weekend it really hit home for me the plight of these people. It was one of the first times I felt unsafe but I was in a locked cabin with many people and only stayed for 3 days. What if I lived here always? The kids and families affected have really been on my mind since we came home.

Please pray for the situation with the Congolese rebels, the LRA and the people of Northern Uganda. If you do not know much on this situation please watch the Invisible Children video and do research. Child soldiers need our prayers to help this conflict end. Please pray that the peace talks will become successful, over 90 kids were abducted from Uganda in September. Please pray for each and every child who has been abducted, pray for their freedom and restoration. God is big, so much bigger than Joseph Coney and his army. God is bigger than the damage that has been done to this country and to the lives of everyone affected. Please pray for healing and restoration in Uganda, Jesus is here and alive and at work!

I love Bebo!

On the way to Bwindi (very close to the Congo border) I took a lot of silent alone time to really feel out why I am here. To figure out the reason God brought me here, not in a negative sense like why in the world would God bring me to Africa but more like I wonder why he would bring me here, what is he trying to teach or show me? I was listening to my ipod to Bebo Norman and a few songs really jumped out and spoke to me about the closeness of God when I feel like I'm one in a million people in Africa. One of the things I've concluded that God is trying to show me in an intense but intimate way that he is so close. More than ever I am learning how much involved God is in my everyday life. This weekend, which I will blog more about later, I fed a wild monkey and built a mud hut with pigmies, I lived in the impenitrable forest where gorilla's are a common sight. I could throw a rock from Uganda to the Congo and had to be careful at night because the Congo is very dangerous right now and there are Congolese rebels all around. Yet, I found God in all those areas. I saw a different and more alive aspect of the God who protected me and let me have my favorite weekend so far. God is as big as the forest but as small as the mosquito who bit my foot. He is as gentle as the breeze or as intense as the afternoon sun. God is big but so close. He is mine and I get to live that every day knowing I have a relationship with a God who made it all!


DRIFTING
Some say home is where the heart is
And my heart is in your hands
You are all I need

Rising from the ashes
Lifting from the madness
Now you see my heart is
Deep enough to dream
Heal me from the deathblow
Lead and I will follow
Now you feel my heart glow
Mending at the seams

Sometimes when I'm all alone
I don't know if I can
Take another breath
Some say home is where the heart is
Tell me where my home is
'Cause I'm scared to death

Falling from the rooftop
Crashing like a raindrop
Can you make my heart stop
Shaking like a leaf
Standing at the floodgate
Steady as an earthquake
Can you hear my heart break
Tearing at the seams

I am drifting in the deep end
Holding on to your hand
Is all that saves me now
Life can treat you like a beggar
You hold me together
But I don't know how

Falling from the rooftop
Crashing like a raindrop
Can you make my heart stop
Shaking like a leaf
Standing at the floodgate
Steady as an earthquake
Can you hear my heart break
Tearing at the seams

SOLDIER
Remember the time when i thought of letting go
and taking back my hand
when all i could think was how long can i follow you
and where do I stand in this world
I lost my faith, my reason to believe
when I refused to see
oh Lord, you carried me

And just like a soldier
you battle for my soul
but more like a father
you come and take me home

What is the worth of a man living for himself
with a heart of his own
and every day goes in and out, still without a sign of life
but Father wont you please give me more
when everything is closing in on me
I know you set me free the day you died for me

And just like a soldier
you battle for my soul
but more like a father
you come and take me home

And who is this man who calls me by name
and covers himself with all of my shame
but not even death could make you surrender
I remember

And just like a soldier
you battle for my soul
but more like a father
you come and take me home

Turning my world upside down..

Well, not upside down but from side to side! Yes, last night I was in an earthquake! I have lived in California for over 2 years and still have not been in an earthquake. In fact a few times, I have been in California and left for AZ and one will happen within 3 days. So last night it finally happened. Rachel, Caitlyn and I were working on homework and it hit. THe whole house started shaking and although they tell you to go under a doorway we ran outside. I do not trust the Ugandan architecture and felt much safer outside so we ran outside screaming "it's an earthquake!!!" Mind you we had been home alone so we all had on spaghetti straps and shorts which is equivalent to be dressed as a slut here, uh oh! Two blonds and a red head, dressed scandalously screaming was quite a scene on a busy Ugandan street. Also, it only lasted for a few seconds so by teh time we actually made it out there the earthquake was far over. We finally realized the funny looks and ran back into the house. We laughed a ton and were all very excited because it was a first for all of us. Unfortunately when we tried to share the excitement with the rest of our families, most of them laughed at us, or said they had not felt it. Either way it was a momentous event for the three of us and provided a fun memory for us!

On a more serious note God reveals himself to me in a grand way. Most mornings I wake up before the sun is up, I usually bathe in the dark and by the time I leave to walk to school the sun is just peaking up over our hill. You see Mukono has 5 hills, I live on top of one and the University is on top of another (I literally walk up hill both ways to and from school but there is no snow). As I walk the sunrise is brilliant! There are vibrant blue, pink, orange and yellows that paint the clouds. Because it rains daily, the sky is constantly filled with clouds. It is absolutely spectacular. Throughout the 45 min walk the sky only grows more and more colorful, by the time I reach school the sun is fully up and we both begin our days together. As the day goes on it usually becomes more and more and more hot and does not cool down until about 6 pm. Just in time for me to walk back and be home by my curfew of 7! So as I begin my journey home so does the sun! Again I get to see the colors as they are painted vastly against the entire sky. When I return home there are only a few minutes left of daylight but they are some of the most colorful. I sometimes sit on my veranda and watch the colors dance against the clouds. No two seconds are the same. It reminds me so much of the awesome Arizonan sunsets. It also makes me miss home a little but makes me feel a little connected to home. Last night as I was walking I started crying realizing that the same God made the sunset of Arizona and of Uganda. The same God caused the earthquake of Mukono and California. No matter how far I go whether I am ten miles away or 10,000 God is God!

Music Competition

So, this weekend, as mentioned before, I went to a music competition. I thought it was the national one featured in WarDance which everyone should still watch but it was actually a preliminary round. Let me start a little earlier than this though. I had invited Rachel to come with us since she had not been to Kampala before. On Friday night my mom tried to convince her to stay and help her with the baby but Rachel would not have it. At one point my mom said "Rachel, are you going to leave me here all alone with Faith?" to which Rachel replied "Of course!" So that being set we woke up early, Rachel had to mop the house before we left but we were able to make it to the meeting point by 8. Since there were about 10 of us we were able to fill an entire matatu we did not have to stop every 5 minutes. We arrived after about 30 mintues, and were dropped off at New Park, a giant taxi park, we found one to take us to our next destination, the competition! After a little confusion and our driver trying to rip us off, we arrived. I literally started crying as I realized the weight of this competition to some of these kids lives. We went right in and sat for 4 hours watching some of the most intricate dances I have ever seen. I took tons of pictures, like 50 so I will share them as soon as I get back. Afterward, we got another matatu and tried to get to the mall which turned into another fiasco in itself. But as always we had a very good time! When we got to the mall a few of us ate at a place called I love New York Kitchen!!! I got to have my first American food, a hamburger, cheesecake and some bread crisps. It was so so so good, a definate needed break from the everyday Ugandan food. Rachel went with others and had good "fancey" Ugandan food. She said it was some of the best she had ever eaten. Then we went to a big craft market where I got tons of gifts to bring home. Rachel kept thanking me for taking her to Kampala. She said she had never felt so loved or blessed. She told me she would only forget me and that day when she dies. I was just as blessed, it was so fun to be able to do something that benefited her. I absolutely adore her, I am definately going to bring her around more often because we had so much fun! When we got home she couldn't stop talking about what a great day it was! My dad even thanked me for taking her so I didn't feel too bad for offending them.

Anyway, this week has been pretty good, today (Tuesday) is a national Muslim Holiday so we went into Kampala today for sandwitches and to see if we could find any t-shirts and basketball shorts, unfortunately they do not exist :( but oh well! We will be in Bwindi this weekend meeting with an MD and maybe making a mud hut...we shall see! I miss you all very much, this week has been really really hard. I am still really homesick. I love it here, don't get me wrong, I am finally feeling more comfortable with my family but that just makes me miss my real family more. I really am missing Chris and having trouble being so far. I am missing my friends and all the fun activities they are doing there. I feel like I am missing out on a lot of things back home. I would not change the last 5 weeks but I can't wait to be back home. Please pray for me that I can be less homesick, that the things I am doing here will out weigh how hard it is to be here. I love and miss you all so so very much!

A New View of Perfection

Last night my perfect view of my family changed drastically. I have been noticing over the past few weeks how Rachel does a majority of the work around the home. She is often talked down to about the house not being clean or about not having dinner prepared in time yet no one helps her. A few nights ago she was scolded for not reading her Bible that day like a good Christian. I have been very confused, so last night I talked to her more about the situation. In the past she had told me that she had converted from Islam and was unable to return to her family. When I was first introduced to her my dad gave a sweet story of how they had converted her and then lovingly took her in to disciple her and provide a haven since she didn't have any where else to live. Also, the last few days she has not gone to her tailoring school because she did not have the money to buy the material. My mom was supposed to have given it to her but after 5 days still has not done it. Then came last night...

We went to get chapatti from a local shop and it was just the two of us. I asked her, "Rachel, why do you do all the work around the house and no one helps you...is it because they provide you with a place to stay?" She has always been a little sparse with her information about how she came to live with my parents. She shyly replied, "It is not good to lie to you, so I will tell you the truth." She then proceeded to tell me that she actually is not the "daughter" figure in my family, she is more of the servant. She is paid very very little, not enough to buy fabric, and they occasionally help pay for school which is why she does so much work. My whole view of the picture perfect, Christian, African family fell apart. Is this ok? I know she is being paid but is it ok for her to be being paid so little? Are they using her or enabling her? Is she an asset to family life or just someone to wash the floors? I have always treasured her and think she is an amazing person, how can they treat her like this? To my American eyes, heart and mind this is an injustice that I want to fix. Rachel could tell later on that I was very upset by the whole thing. She tried to explain that it is ok because it is an African way of life but does that make it ok? I have been struggling since last night to find my place in this situation. My heart hurts for her and I want to help her but how?

Later that evening I asked Rachel her plans for this weekend, she was free so we are going to go to a national music and dance competition in Kampala. She has never been there, which is surprising since it is the capital and only 15 miles away. She is so excited and so am I!! I can't wait to spend the day with her and get to love her in the midst of a hard situation.

Please be praying for Rachel. She is a sweet sweet girl who has made me feel so at home in Uganda. She is a close friend and has the best laugh of anyone I have ever met. I will write more later to fill you in on our action packed weekend!

God is Good...All the Time!

Ok, so I know my last two posts have been a little conflicting. Life is good and hard at the exact same time. It is an adventure but I still live in Africa so things are different and challenging. However, I have seen God meet me in hard places more than once in my short time of being away. Monday, of this week, I was struggling a lot with why I am here and why it has to be so hard and different. At chapel we sang the song Lord Reign In Me and it spoke directly to my heart. The lyrics are:

Over all the Earth
You reign on high
Every mountain stream every sunset sky
But my one request Lord my only aim
Is that you reign in me again

Lord reign in me
Reign in your power
Over all my dreams
In my darkest hour
You are the Lord of all I am
So won't you reign in me again

Over every thought
Over every word
May my life reflect the beauty of my Lord
'Cause you mean more to me than any Earthly thing
So won't you reign in me again

This song spoke to me so powerfully to me because I do feel like I am in a dark hour sometimes, but in those times I still want Him to be reigning in me. I want to know and experience Him when things are not good yet I want to still be a witness of His glory regardless of my own emotion. Also, the last verse is so impactful when it says over EVERY thought EVERY word my MY life reflect the BEAUTY of my LORD. Regardless of how I am feeling, regardless of any earthly trouble or accomplishment He is everything. I want him to reign in me while I experience and fall more deeply in love with Uganda. No matter if there is joy or strife, our God reigns!

Then that evening I was reading verses for class and we were asked to read Acts 2. I have had numerous people point me to Psalms and the life of David and other lonely people in the bible. Fortunately, or unfortunately, there are a lot of lonely people in the Bible but it is usually at this time that Jesus draws so close. He is the only concrete support anyone can stand on and it is often in "our darkest hour" that we fall into his arms. Peter addresses the crowd in the second chapter of Acts and quotes David. Acts 2:25-28 says:

David said about him:
I saw the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will live in hope,
because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
You have made known to me the paths of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence.

What an encouragement that no matter where we are,

These are a few of my favorite things

Ok, to offset the negativity of my last post I figured I would do a happier one...

I LOVE...

the sweet bananas...not matoke which is kinda like mashed potatoes but not really...the actual bananas are great! You have to be a little careful though because they can plug you up...Africa is a delicate balance of constipation and diarrhea!!

American and African friends, although I haven't known them long we do have a lot of fun together...some I will fill you in on when I come home, some of it goes with the saying, what happens in Africa stays in Africa

My dad, I love that he wants me to learn new things and that he loves to hear about my country as well. I love that he wants me to fall in love with the things and people he loves to take me to new places. I love the deeper conversations we can get into about religion and people. I love that he is intentional in his walk with Christ and the way he goes about his day

My mom and how much fun we have. She is wonderful to joke with and I don't feel bad when I don't eat posho. I'm glad that I am not the only one who hates that stuff! I love that she wants to teach me how to cook and actually and then actually allows me to. I love that she takes me to introduction ceremonies and will take me to weddings. I love that she introduces me as her daughter and defends me when men are rude!

My host sister Rachel, she is the one I connect with the most and am able to laugh the most with. Last night we went to get "pancakes" (flour and banana cakes that are pretty small), and on the way home we decided to catch fireflies. I love that I can be crazy and joke with her and that she loves to teach me how to cook also. I love that she is so simple in her joy which spreads to the entire family. Numerous times a day she says something and the entire family begins to laugh.

My little sister faith who finally likes me! Last night we played for an hour by ourself laughing and trying to catch a bird for her (there actually weren't any but she thought there were some in a tree). She laughed with me and cried when I left with Rachel to get pancakes. I love that she finally loves me. When I left for school this morning she said good morning and goodbye to me in English. I love that I can play with her and she cuddles with me!

My unborn sister or brother who I am super excited to meet. I am excited for the opportunity to hold a newborn Ugandan baby who is my own brother or sister!

Dark chocolate...I brought a stash with me and have been slowly eating it. I try not to eat it everyday, although I would, because I will need it when I am having more hard days. They only have milk chocolate so I am very thankful that I brought some with me.

Drink mixes, I brough propel and others brought gatorade, cool-aid, iced tea. They are a nice mix up from the water and tea which is all we usually get (Other than Fanta and Coke which gets old fast!)

Beans and Rice, all the Americans are very thankful when we are served that for lunch. Matoke and posho are not so good and the rice with beans is amazing! I also love it when I get it at home, they call the sauce of beans soup which is amazing over rice!!

I love tea time, mostly because it is a quite time for me and my family to just hang out. I love the tea as well, especially with g-nuts which are similar to peanuts but so much better. Sometimes I have it with pancakes also or the other night I got tea, popcorn! real french fries! and a chicken wing!! It was an amazing break that I truly believe was sent by God to remind me that home is not that far off and that he is far closer.

Lastly, I love devotions with my family. Nightly we read a bible passage and the accompanying article in a devotion book. The second night here I was asked to lead devotions and pray which was wonderful but daunting. The next night I was asked to lead the prayer which was even more intimidating because they literally pray for everything. But it is a cool time of worship within our family. I also love how intentionally they pray, they truly believe they can change life with their prayers which I feel like others fail to believe fully.

I am still struggling, which I do not expect to change much but there is good that does outweigh the bad. Life here is confusing and hard but wonderful and adventurous. It is rugged but a blessing. Life is simple but intricately woven with the spiritual realm. Ugandans are different and weird but my brothers and sisters in Christ. Already God has taught me so much and I am blessed to be able to go through this experience.

A few things to pray for: My knee has been hurting a lot and the 45 minute walk is tough, especially in the morning when it is uphill. Also, I have had a sore throat for a few days but I don't know if the health center is reliable enough to fix it. I miss you all terribly but Africa has more lessons to teach me before I can come home. This weekend I will be in Jinja which is about 60 kilometers away. It is supposed to be the most beautiful place in Uganda and it is the source of the Nile! I will update again when I come back on Monday!

From the Heart

Ok, so I have had a lot of emotions since I've been here, for an accurate glimpse of where my heart is deep down here is my journal from last night.

Today was the first Sunday I got to spend with my family and attend my dad's church. I love how much my family loves Jesus. Everything they do is very intentional, Church was good, very liturgical because it is Anglican but nothing can be too rigid because I am in Africa. Then we ate a delicious lunch that had beef! My first time having meat with my family, and popo-papaya! Although all of this is wonderful there is a constant sadness that bring me to tears almost daily. I desperately miss home. I miss family, Chris and friends who know me deeply and intimately. Nothing here feels comfortable or sure-EVERYTHING is different. i want people who speak my language. I don't want to fall asleep listening to mice scurrying around my bedroom. I don't want to kill another bug, spider, or cockroach in my room. I'm tired if peeing in a hole that reeks. I don't want to have to take a shower out of a bucket outside in a 3 walled concrete slab with no door or roof that is next to the latrine so it too reeks. I want to see other white people on a constant basis. I know they call this culture stress or culture shock but I don't care, I want to go home. I still don't know why I am here, I feel like I am just going through my days waiting for the next one. I intentionally try to present everywhere I go but it just makes me feel more isolated. I carry my phone everywhere hoping for a call or text from home. I dread doing my laundry again by hand. I love walking to school but I am tired of men proposing to me or asking me to come home with them. I want someone to know me, not just want me sexually or for my money because I am white. Even this morning when I was about to leave for church my mom, who I love, said she liked my dress and then asked if "maybe I will leave it for here when I go home." I am lonely, confused, used up, exhausted, and all together tired of Africa. The "honeymoon" is over and I want to go home. I do not want to be pitied and I am not constantly feeling like this bu tin the quietness of night, or when someone brings up family, friends or Chris or when I am journaling the sadness creeps in. I have intentionally not journaled this before because I did not want to think about it but in truthfulness this is hard. Everyday brings struggles. How can I do another 95 of these days? A popular African saying is "slowly by slowly," unfortunately I am ready for it to be over now. I want to go home.

A Lazy Rainy Friday Afternoon

So , its about 3:30 on Friday, I'm sitting in our IMME quarters listening to the rain fall softly outside. That is one of the wonderful things about Uganda, it rains consistently every afternoon. So, each day I sit with the door open reading or doing homework and enjoying the rain that is usually so sparse in Phoenix. I thought I would use this time to catch you up on daily African life...

First off, the Ugandans are notorious for going to be late and getting up before any one ever should think to. So my dad usually includes waking up between 6 and 6:30 usually to faith screaming or laughing. Yesterday I woke up to the loud commotion of my mom spraying Raid in her eyes...not good! Then I usually go right to my lovely bucket shower. They realized since I am a Mzungu-white person, that I would have a lot of difficulty if they did not also provide me with a cup to wash my hair out. Then I have breakfast which is always tea with bread, once now I have been given eggs. Then I'm off to school, there are 4 other IMME students who live close by so I have always had a walking companion for most of the way. My days at school are all vastly different, the class schedule is not done on any schedule at all. Class is when it is convenient for the teacher so it can change often. At 10:30 it is tea time again where I have a choice between milk tea and black tea. Then usually back to class until lunch time from 1-2. The afternoons either are full of class or homework, there are hundreds of pages of reading each week and the books are located, hopefully, in one of the three libraries. Then tea time again at 4:30...as you can tell they take their tea time very seriously. We usually leave to walk home at about 6 and I arrive home around seven. Tea, is again, promptly served as soon as I walk in the door. I then sit with Rachel, my adopted house sister, and she teaches me how to cook matoke-unripe bananas that have the consistency of mashed potatoes, cassava-a root that is pretty gross, rice and beans. Last night we had cooked pumpkin! When my dad comes home we usually watch the news together or he teaches me a little language. We have family devotion at 8:30 until whenever dinner is ready. Devotions is a sweet time where we read from a devotional book, and the Bible. Then we all discuss the application it has to our lives. I have been able to lead the devotion once and the prayer once. Their prayers are almost like sermons, they pray for literally everything but it is a really intimate time. Then dinner is usually ready. At dinner I am usually exhausted so they let me go to sleep as soon as it is over. A few times I have actually gone to sleep before Faith does. My family is pretty modern in that they let me serve myself and we talk at dinner. In very traditional families they do not talk around the dinner table but the first day my dad told me they do not do that because it is the best family time (just like at home!) so we should not waste it. My parents have realized my habits and are no longer offended when I go to sleep right away. In fact, a few days ago my mom told me I eat very little (they eat a ton!) and sleep very much. And that ends my day which starts the same the next day! Life has a bit more of a routine now so it more relaxing.

Tomorrow we are going to an introduction ceremony and a wedding if we have time! An introduction ceremony is when a woman introduces who her husband will be, before the ceremony they have dated but it is after he asks to marry her that they have the ceremony. It is a huge deal, even bigger than most weddings. It is also full of tradition and good food! I will wear the traditional clothes and it will take a lot of the day. In Ugandan culture, the friends pretty much pay for the wedding and bring gifts to help the new couple, similar to our engagement parties and showers but more. I am very excited to see this part of the culture, be anxious for my next post when I will tell you all about it. For now, I am off, my family should be calling soon!!!