I'll be home for Christmas...cuz I'm already home!

Hey all, I am home! After 3 days of sitting on a plane I have made it. Things went very smoothly leaving Uganda (although the only form of security was taht a woman asked me if I had anything sharp or any weapons, I said no but when we got to Amsterdam and went through their security I ended up having scissors and another girl had 5 knives she was bringing home...oops!) We had 9 hour layover in Amsterdam so we made the most of it and went into the city. It was beautiful but so super cold! We made it into Washington D.C. about an hour late only to find they had lost one of my bags, the one with all the presents :( I was told it should arrive at my house today (Friday) so I'm praying that comes true. On the way to Phoenix I was delayed and ended up getting in about 2 hours late, not fun! Sky Harbor's computer system went down so I spend over half an hour sitting on the tarmack waiting for a spot to open up so we could park our plane and go see my family. But I am home now, I have eaten good food, taken a bath and slept a whole night in my bed! Chris comes today so once that happens I will really feel at home. Oh, and my host dad called today!! I AM A GODMOTHER!! My Godson, Christopher Daniel was born on December 17th! I just barely missed the little guy but he is here and healthy. They are all very excited about the new addition to our family. If I get pictures I will post them, I'm sure he is so super cute! As far as pictures, here are a few of my favorites. There are many to choose from considering I have over 7,000 on my computer right now!


The entire Uganda Studies Group on Trevan's BirthdayMy sweet sister Faith, she fell asleep at our farewell dinner which is totally out of her nature but so so sweet!
I met this little girl when we went to the circumcision ceremony, she was drunk on local brew but was so happy and playful, I think, other than Faith, she was the cutest kid I saw.
Another picture of Faith, wow how she has grown in 4 months, I loved her smile and laugh!
This is the waterfall we hiked to the bottom of in Sipi Falls, I don't think I can even explane how impressive it was, it was absolutely incredible!

More pictures to come! If you live in Phoenix and go to ODF, see you on Sunday! Everyone else, I can't wait to catch up although the next few weeks are super busy. Merry Christmas everyone!

It's begining to look a lot like Christmas...even in Uganda!

Last night about 10 of us went Christmas caroling to our families. We had an absolute blast! Everyone got to pick 2 songs they wanted to sing to their family and then we closed with We Wish you a Merry Christmas! If they were traditional songs they would usually sing along. We had many visitors at my house when we went and they were all super excited to see us. Unfortunately my dad wasn't there so we sang to him when I was dropped off at the end. It is customary here that when a visitor comes you give them a snack and tea, instead we accepted juice and bread at one house and told the rest we didn't have time. But as soon as I walked in my house I was given my bread and nuts! We also went to the three leader's houses and to honors college where the rest of the American Students who stay on campus live. I bought chocolates to give my family so when I came we all shared some "sweets" It was so fun, oh and it rained here, finally!! So it actually got cold, it felt a tiny bit like winter weather.

I'm getting really sad to leave my family, I have ahd my stuff packed for a few days (only because I do it when my family is gone so I don't miss out on family time) so my room looks super sad and empty. We officially leave on Saturday at 8 for debrief so I have about 48 hours left in Mukono. Our plane will leave on Tuesday at about 11 for Amsterdam, after an 8 hr layover we will be in Washington D.C. on the afternoon of the 17th. I fly out the next morning and will be in Phoenix at 4:15 on Thursday! I can't wait to be home but it will definately be bitter sweet.

Tomorrow night I will celebrate Christmas with this family, the highlight of the gift time being a sewing machine for Rachel!! Thanks Grandma for doing that!! Faith will get books, the girls pencils and my parents will get pictures and baby things!! I can't wait, I will probably not update again, until I'm back in the states so don't get worried. I am fine and I'm comin home!!!

Preparation for a Long Awaited Homecoming

I'm not even sure how to start this one off...I feel like that with most of these blogs...

I come home 2 weeks from today, in 8 days I leave for debrief and in 12 days the plane leaves for the States. How do I prepare, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically. Yes I can pack but how do I bring all the emotions, memories, struggles, heartaches, joys, stories, pictures, and delights of the past four months back to everyone? I feel so overwhelmed and I haven't even started my journey back. So I am now asking something of you. Please be patient with me, be slow and let it come with time. I don't even have it sorted out so how can I tell you? Fresh off the plane or 5 years from now I will not be able to answer questions like "what was your favorite/hardest part of Africa? What was the biggest struggle or most impactful experience?" I can't/won't do it. I cannot put Africa into a box. From the outside this may seem like a vacation or merely a study abroad experience but to me it was a spirtual awakening, a glimpse of God and a time when I changed more than I think I even know. So please be slow, my heart is hurting, excited and broken from living here. I am confused and excited and the stories and pictures will come, I promise, I am so excited to tell you all what it is like but I need some time. Right when I come home it will be Christmas which will be spent with family and Chris and then I will spend 2 weeks with Chris in Sacramento before he goes to Costa Rica for 3 months. And that will be equally hard for me to process and come to grips with him leaving now. My parents and I have already talked about doing a big time of sharing and showing pictures which all are invited to but it will not be until the end of January at least. I don't need things to all be figured out before I can share but I can't be as open about specific experiences until I figure out what I even feel about them.

I am not trying to scare anyone off from talking to me, even about Africa, but don't be suprised if my answers are vague or even if I start crying. And trust me, there will be pictures to share...over 3,000 of them!

On a happier note, cuz I don't like to end these quite like that...school is over for the primary schools here so my mom and dad have been a lot less busy so they are home a lot more during the day. And Joan was confirmed 2 weeks ago and her 14 yr old sister came and has stayed ever since. She is really sweet! I love her tons! Tomorrow my mom and I are going to buy a sewing machine for Rachel that I will give her sometime next week before I leave. Still no stinkin baby but please pray "he" is born before I leave (I think it is a boy, we shall see !!). Tomorrow Stephanie and I are going into Kampala to get some really cool Christmas gifts (can't tell what it is :)...) and ingredients to make pancakes for my family on Saturday morning. Then we are going to come into school and skype my family!! Both of my familes will finally meet!!

I can't wait to see you all in just 2 weeks! I'm really really looking forward to being back and not killing cockroaches (4 last night) and listening to mice all night! And finally a hot hot shower!! Yay! But most of all seeing my family and Chris and just spending time being together again!

Honored

Today I feel honored, I feel honored to have been called to go to a far away land, to love unloved people, to experience new things, Honored to have been loved by my host family and many others. Honored to have rafted the Nile and seen monkeys. Honored that I was chosen to come to this place. It ahs been so hard, harder than I could ever have thought but it’s an honor to be tested, stretched, broken, humbled only to fall into the arms of the one who has loved me through it all. I am honored to have cried all the tears I have cried because I got to see the heart of God that much more clearly even through the tears. I am honored to be covered in red dirt because that means I am in Africa. I am honored to be one of few people who will ever get to live in a foreign country for 4 months with an extraordinary host family. I am honored to see the handprint of God in a whole new context, honored to see stars that we cannot see in the Northern Hemisphere in the U.S. Honored that I came here and will not leave unchanged. I am honored to have been torn down so I could learn how to love. I am honored to have heard many different opinions on missions and on God so I could solidify my faith. I am honored to have lived in a place where community is huge and resembles the early Christian church. I am honored to eat beans and rice every day because I can enter into others suffering in an appropriate manner. I am honored to have had a bucket bath or freezing shower every day so I can learn how to be even more thankful. I am honored to be separated from my family and Chris for 4 months so I could learn how to love them and how to serve them better. I am honored to have killed a chicken and cooked a meal over a charcoal stove or wood burning stove because now I can appreciate my huge kitchen and the things God has blessed my life back home with. I am honored to have met close friends who I will treasure and love for the rest of my life. I am honored to have struggled so I could find happiness. Africa has changed me drastically, Josh told me when I left that the best advice he got before he left for Costa Rica was to not expect to return the same. With that expectation I have lived the life of an African realizing that my American attitude needed to be transformed. Not a single day that I have been here have I not seen or felt God in a very real way. I have learned how close to me He is if I just reach out to take His hand. I am humbled and honored mostly to be a child of God and to realize that no matter how far from home I may go, he is there to guide, challenge and love me through it all. I can honestly say this has been the hardest, most challenging and often times the most frustrating time of my life but it has also been the most growing, most humbling, and most exciting time of my life where I have come to closely know the God who brought me here. When I first left I had no idea why I was going, I did not want to go and I was incredibly fearful. Of all the things I have learned, the most important is that God is near, he is big but he is close, especially when your heart is lonely and broken. I do not think I could have learned these lessons sitting in my dorm room at Biola, I had to be completely isolated in a tiny town in Africa seeing starving, barefoot children and living with a family who makes less than $375 a year for me to have seen how very close God was. I will not come back the same; Africa has renewed, strengthened and illuminated my faith in the most extraordinary way!

Splish, Splash!!

In just a few hours I am leaving for a weekend trip to raft the Nile! They are supposed to be class 5 rapids so it is going to be super intense! This is the last year people will be able to raft the Nile because they are going to Dam it at the source. I'm so glad for this opportunity! One, semi funny thing, there are really bad parasites in Lake Victoria and the Nile so as we are stepping on the plane they hand us all some medicine we have to take 6 weeks after rafting so we can kill it. I can just picture them saying, have a great flight here's some parasite meds (OIA).

Other than that, things are still pretty much the same from the last time I wrote. Still tears and smiles all within a few minutes of each other. Still pushing through and trying to find God in the midst of a really hard living situation. I am excited for a break from "reality" this weekend and maybe even have a hot shower! I will write soon to update you all on this weekend, it should be a blast!!!

29 More Days!

So many people have asked me in the past few days how I am doing…how am I doing? I don’t even know. So many people have also asked, how is Africa? Where do I start? Do I start with saying it is good and I love being with my family, I love learning new things and being a part of an exciting adventure, I love learning a new language and finding out about Africa. I love that God has come so close to me and grown my heart in ways I could not imagine. That I have learned lessons that I could have only learned in Africa. Or do I start by saying this has been the hardest 4 months of my life. That it is devastating to see starving kids with bloated bellies and no shoes and a baby on their back unable to go to school because they are too poor. Do I say that there are devastating statistics like 2,000,000 orphans in Uganda alone, that’s almost the size of Phoenix. Do I tell of the corruption of the Ugandan government that all the Ugandans feel? Do I talk of the strive occurring in Congo that shows up on every newscast and the floods of refugees that are streaming into Uganda daily. Do I talk of the hundreds of child soldiers that have been abducted by the LRA just since I’ve been here? So many hard realities of this beautiful place that is called the Pearl of Africa.

I don’t even know how to talk about these things, I haven’t posted for a while because I don’t know what to say, the “Africa is a funny place” was a cop out to buy my more time because I am so confused. How does my heart face these realities that I see every single day? The hardest thing I have experienced while here is I don’t know how to deal with this experience and I don’t know how to process it. Yes I can talk with the other USP students but we are all in the same boat. We all have the same struggles. Yes I can pray and talk everything through with God, and I do. Yes I can read my Bible, David has been a great comfort, but how do I even begin to sort things out and help my heart not feel so clogged up? Almost every time my family or Chris call I end up in tears, I just want to feel safe and secure again. I want to feel loved and cared for. I want to be able to talk about these things with people who can offer insight and wisdom into something that has drastically changed me.

Another challenge, that relates, is that there is no sort of fellowship. Church is different and very mundane, not to offend anyone from the Anglican Church but it isn’t normal and I don’t feel “filled up.” Even chapel is very dry. They spend over 25 min doing announcements and then deliver health and wealth gospel message that usually leaves us pretty angry. I feel like I am constantly being emotionally drained from the rigors of daily life but never being built up.

I know this sounds like a lot of complaining. I promise Africa is a wonderful place. There are wonderful things I will tell you all about when I come home when I can show you pictures of the wonderful people and places, but life here is so hard. I’m really struggling right now with not wanting to leave my host family but wanting to feel secure, to know that I am deeply loved, wanted and valued.

On a very very big side note, my family has asked me to be the godparent of the new baby! So pray “it” comes before I leave, I really need to meet my godchild.

And last night I finally at the grasshopper, it tasted like a crispy French fry but I just couldn’t get past the fact that it was a grasshopper so I could only do one. My dad loves taking pictures when I try something new so there are pictures!

I only have 29 more days till I am home and 25 more days till I leave my family for debrief, please pray that I can feel a little less depressed and stressed so that I can fully engage and enjoy them for my last month. I love them so so much and don’t want to miss a minute with them! Also, as mentioned earlier in blogs and as you have probably heard, please be praying for the situation in the Congo, literally millions of people have come here and are in displacement camps. These camps give them a place to live but are a breeding ground for HIV/AIDS, disease, tension, starvation and other horrible things. Please pray for the conflict to end so these innocent victims can return home safely to their homes!

Africa is a funny place

I think I have mentioned before, among the American students we have a saying "OIA" (Only In Africa). We say this often when things happen that can only be explained by using this saying. Let me share with you a few of these things.

1. This one is a little heavier but I promise it will be funny. Picture me 16 years ago. My mom calls Josh, Sean and I in from the sand box to watch Clinton's Inauguration. Here is what my 5 1/2 year old brain understands about him. I desperately wanted a baby sister, after praying for a year and a half my mom gets pregnant (she may not have planned it but I always knew I would get my sister). So she is a few months from being born and I know, somehow, that Clinton supported abortion. Throughout the whole inauguration I balled, then my mom noticed sand crawling in Sean's hear, wait sand doesn't crawl...we had lice!

So here I am 16 years later, in Africa, I'm 20, and we have no elected a president who has radical views on abortion. My dad and I had a small discussion on the topic so when I found out I cried again. I felt like I was 5 1/2 again, why does anyone kill babies? Give them to me! I had a small flashback to 16 years ago, I'm still sad but feeling more my age.

2. One thing that helps us through all the hard days is exercising. They really encourage those of us who exercise at home to exercise here as well, like my 4 miles of walking to and from school isn't enough. So my exercise partner Stephanie and I try to get out every morning to run, do abs and some arm stuff too. Well, I've been having the lung issues so a few weeks ago I decided not to run as much, but to do lunges, squats and other various exercises. So I decided I needed a little more weight, are there any normal free weights in Africa? Of course not…so what do you use? Picture this, I look around and there are numerous boulders. Yes, I started doing overhead presses and squats with a boulder. I will try it again and have Stephanie take a picture.

Oh, and another thing, running on the “track” which is often a muddy swamp, you can encounter many obstacles. I live 30 miles from the nearest lake yet there was a rotting fish on the side. Gross! Also, you can often encounter cars, cows and chickens. It is necessary for us to always keep our eyes open so as not to run into any livestock.

3. So in the United States we have apple seasons, orange seasons, etc…guess what kind of seasons Uganda has. Well, for starters, the white ant season has already passed. White ants are huge flying insects that they fry and eat. But, there is a new season that is just coming. It’s the grasshopper season!! And guess what, we eat them too!! After we run we go up to the dorms to take a shower in the sub-zero showers and they are infested with them. The first day I counted 21, today 27. Yep, tons of 2-3 inch green, grey or brown grasshoppers that make a screaming noise and run or fly at you. It’s super gross.

4. And lastly, you may laugh at this but at 4 am this morning I wasn’t laughing. We had 2 chickens yesterday that someone gave to my family. A hen and a cock. Well the hen was sick with a respiratory thing so we killed her right away to eat her. Yes that’s right, when a chicken gets sick the obvious answer is to just eat the sick chicken. They say I won’t get sick, let’s hope not! The cock gets to live until Sunday, unfortunately since he couldn’t be with the hen he got to hang out in the house. He decided to make his little home right in front of my bedroom door. Gross. Then when it was time to go to sleep I thought we would put him outside, that sounds logical right? Wrong! He “slept” inside. He was a very confused rooster though. He thought sunrise was at 3 am when it doesn’t actually happen till about 6:15. He crowed 10 crows every 20 minutes from 3 am until I finally left the house at about 6:10…my family had told me the day before I was the one responsible for killing, plucking and gutting him. I quickly declined but by about 4 am I was more than ready to slaughter that sucker!

Anyway, that is the funny happenings around here. I hope you are all doing wonderful. Gaze at a beautiful autumn tree for me. I’m missing autumn more than I thought I would. Have a wonderful Thursday! Love you all!