Or maybe not...

I am the only study abroad student sitting on this campus...a little lonely? for sure! I decided not to go on my Rural home stay...it was a super hard decision, tears are still flowing, but I don't feel like can risk my health that much. So far I haven't seen any signs of improvement with the pleurisy and now I also have and infected lymph node. Which may be good considering I forgot to pack toothpaste :( I will be staying with my host family for this week or until I feel well enough to go and join everyone. I am praying that in the next few days, or tomorrow morning, I can join everyone. I walked to school today in a lot of pain from carrying everything and it was about then that I realized I was probably not going to go. I was so excited for another adventure and something exciting to pass the days, unfortunately, I'm here, alone, no movies, no comfort, no white people even. Wow, I miss home. I really try hard not to count down the days but one thing I have learned very clearly is that I love home, I love being with the people I love and who love me back. I love feeling safe and having things be certain for me. I love American food and warm showers. I love leaves changing colors in the fall and the Christmas spirit.

I think one of the biggest things God has been teaching me while I am here is that I am NOT going to be a missionary. I love the poor and the hurting. I love to hold starving babies and kiss their matted heads. I love adventures and new things but not for long periods of time, especially when I am so far from people I really care about. This has really solidified my want to be an inner-city teacher and to love on the poor of America. I don't think I will ever not be involved in missions with whatever church I am attending but I do not think I am called to be a missionary, it is hard and they are strong people. I respect missionaries even more now because I know I could never do it.

Now that I have a week of free time I think I may teach my family a little about Halloween and carve some pumpkins! I can't wait to see Faith's face when her pumpkin is lit up! After it is all finished we will probably eat it for supper! Anyway, I hope you all are doing well. I am over halfway done and can't wait to be back with you all!