Music Competition

So, this weekend, as mentioned before, I went to a music competition. I thought it was the national one featured in WarDance which everyone should still watch but it was actually a preliminary round. Let me start a little earlier than this though. I had invited Rachel to come with us since she had not been to Kampala before. On Friday night my mom tried to convince her to stay and help her with the baby but Rachel would not have it. At one point my mom said "Rachel, are you going to leave me here all alone with Faith?" to which Rachel replied "Of course!" So that being set we woke up early, Rachel had to mop the house before we left but we were able to make it to the meeting point by 8. Since there were about 10 of us we were able to fill an entire matatu we did not have to stop every 5 minutes. We arrived after about 30 mintues, and were dropped off at New Park, a giant taxi park, we found one to take us to our next destination, the competition! After a little confusion and our driver trying to rip us off, we arrived. I literally started crying as I realized the weight of this competition to some of these kids lives. We went right in and sat for 4 hours watching some of the most intricate dances I have ever seen. I took tons of pictures, like 50 so I will share them as soon as I get back. Afterward, we got another matatu and tried to get to the mall which turned into another fiasco in itself. But as always we had a very good time! When we got to the mall a few of us ate at a place called I love New York Kitchen!!! I got to have my first American food, a hamburger, cheesecake and some bread crisps. It was so so so good, a definate needed break from the everyday Ugandan food. Rachel went with others and had good "fancey" Ugandan food. She said it was some of the best she had ever eaten. Then we went to a big craft market where I got tons of gifts to bring home. Rachel kept thanking me for taking her to Kampala. She said she had never felt so loved or blessed. She told me she would only forget me and that day when she dies. I was just as blessed, it was so fun to be able to do something that benefited her. I absolutely adore her, I am definately going to bring her around more often because we had so much fun! When we got home she couldn't stop talking about what a great day it was! My dad even thanked me for taking her so I didn't feel too bad for offending them.

Anyway, this week has been pretty good, today (Tuesday) is a national Muslim Holiday so we went into Kampala today for sandwitches and to see if we could find any t-shirts and basketball shorts, unfortunately they do not exist :( but oh well! We will be in Bwindi this weekend meeting with an MD and maybe making a mud hut...we shall see! I miss you all very much, this week has been really really hard. I am still really homesick. I love it here, don't get me wrong, I am finally feeling more comfortable with my family but that just makes me miss my real family more. I really am missing Chris and having trouble being so far. I am missing my friends and all the fun activities they are doing there. I feel like I am missing out on a lot of things back home. I would not change the last 5 weeks but I can't wait to be back home. Please pray for me that I can be less homesick, that the things I am doing here will out weigh how hard it is to be here. I love and miss you all so so very much!

A New View of Perfection

Last night my perfect view of my family changed drastically. I have been noticing over the past few weeks how Rachel does a majority of the work around the home. She is often talked down to about the house not being clean or about not having dinner prepared in time yet no one helps her. A few nights ago she was scolded for not reading her Bible that day like a good Christian. I have been very confused, so last night I talked to her more about the situation. In the past she had told me that she had converted from Islam and was unable to return to her family. When I was first introduced to her my dad gave a sweet story of how they had converted her and then lovingly took her in to disciple her and provide a haven since she didn't have any where else to live. Also, the last few days she has not gone to her tailoring school because she did not have the money to buy the material. My mom was supposed to have given it to her but after 5 days still has not done it. Then came last night...

We went to get chapatti from a local shop and it was just the two of us. I asked her, "Rachel, why do you do all the work around the house and no one helps you...is it because they provide you with a place to stay?" She has always been a little sparse with her information about how she came to live with my parents. She shyly replied, "It is not good to lie to you, so I will tell you the truth." She then proceeded to tell me that she actually is not the "daughter" figure in my family, she is more of the servant. She is paid very very little, not enough to buy fabric, and they occasionally help pay for school which is why she does so much work. My whole view of the picture perfect, Christian, African family fell apart. Is this ok? I know she is being paid but is it ok for her to be being paid so little? Are they using her or enabling her? Is she an asset to family life or just someone to wash the floors? I have always treasured her and think she is an amazing person, how can they treat her like this? To my American eyes, heart and mind this is an injustice that I want to fix. Rachel could tell later on that I was very upset by the whole thing. She tried to explain that it is ok because it is an African way of life but does that make it ok? I have been struggling since last night to find my place in this situation. My heart hurts for her and I want to help her but how?

Later that evening I asked Rachel her plans for this weekend, she was free so we are going to go to a national music and dance competition in Kampala. She has never been there, which is surprising since it is the capital and only 15 miles away. She is so excited and so am I!! I can't wait to spend the day with her and get to love her in the midst of a hard situation.

Please be praying for Rachel. She is a sweet sweet girl who has made me feel so at home in Uganda. She is a close friend and has the best laugh of anyone I have ever met. I will write more later to fill you in on our action packed weekend!

God is Good...All the Time!

Ok, so I know my last two posts have been a little conflicting. Life is good and hard at the exact same time. It is an adventure but I still live in Africa so things are different and challenging. However, I have seen God meet me in hard places more than once in my short time of being away. Monday, of this week, I was struggling a lot with why I am here and why it has to be so hard and different. At chapel we sang the song Lord Reign In Me and it spoke directly to my heart. The lyrics are:

Over all the Earth
You reign on high
Every mountain stream every sunset sky
But my one request Lord my only aim
Is that you reign in me again

Lord reign in me
Reign in your power
Over all my dreams
In my darkest hour
You are the Lord of all I am
So won't you reign in me again

Over every thought
Over every word
May my life reflect the beauty of my Lord
'Cause you mean more to me than any Earthly thing
So won't you reign in me again

This song spoke to me so powerfully to me because I do feel like I am in a dark hour sometimes, but in those times I still want Him to be reigning in me. I want to know and experience Him when things are not good yet I want to still be a witness of His glory regardless of my own emotion. Also, the last verse is so impactful when it says over EVERY thought EVERY word my MY life reflect the BEAUTY of my LORD. Regardless of how I am feeling, regardless of any earthly trouble or accomplishment He is everything. I want him to reign in me while I experience and fall more deeply in love with Uganda. No matter if there is joy or strife, our God reigns!

Then that evening I was reading verses for class and we were asked to read Acts 2. I have had numerous people point me to Psalms and the life of David and other lonely people in the bible. Fortunately, or unfortunately, there are a lot of lonely people in the Bible but it is usually at this time that Jesus draws so close. He is the only concrete support anyone can stand on and it is often in "our darkest hour" that we fall into his arms. Peter addresses the crowd in the second chapter of Acts and quotes David. Acts 2:25-28 says:

David said about him:
I saw the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will live in hope,
because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
You have made known to me the paths of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence.

What an encouragement that no matter where we are,

These are a few of my favorite things

Ok, to offset the negativity of my last post I figured I would do a happier one...

I LOVE...

the sweet bananas...not matoke which is kinda like mashed potatoes but not really...the actual bananas are great! You have to be a little careful though because they can plug you up...Africa is a delicate balance of constipation and diarrhea!!

American and African friends, although I haven't known them long we do have a lot of fun together...some I will fill you in on when I come home, some of it goes with the saying, what happens in Africa stays in Africa

My dad, I love that he wants me to learn new things and that he loves to hear about my country as well. I love that he wants me to fall in love with the things and people he loves to take me to new places. I love the deeper conversations we can get into about religion and people. I love that he is intentional in his walk with Christ and the way he goes about his day

My mom and how much fun we have. She is wonderful to joke with and I don't feel bad when I don't eat posho. I'm glad that I am not the only one who hates that stuff! I love that she wants to teach me how to cook and actually and then actually allows me to. I love that she takes me to introduction ceremonies and will take me to weddings. I love that she introduces me as her daughter and defends me when men are rude!

My host sister Rachel, she is the one I connect with the most and am able to laugh the most with. Last night we went to get "pancakes" (flour and banana cakes that are pretty small), and on the way home we decided to catch fireflies. I love that I can be crazy and joke with her and that she loves to teach me how to cook also. I love that she is so simple in her joy which spreads to the entire family. Numerous times a day she says something and the entire family begins to laugh.

My little sister faith who finally likes me! Last night we played for an hour by ourself laughing and trying to catch a bird for her (there actually weren't any but she thought there were some in a tree). She laughed with me and cried when I left with Rachel to get pancakes. I love that she finally loves me. When I left for school this morning she said good morning and goodbye to me in English. I love that I can play with her and she cuddles with me!

My unborn sister or brother who I am super excited to meet. I am excited for the opportunity to hold a newborn Ugandan baby who is my own brother or sister!

Dark chocolate...I brought a stash with me and have been slowly eating it. I try not to eat it everyday, although I would, because I will need it when I am having more hard days. They only have milk chocolate so I am very thankful that I brought some with me.

Drink mixes, I brough propel and others brought gatorade, cool-aid, iced tea. They are a nice mix up from the water and tea which is all we usually get (Other than Fanta and Coke which gets old fast!)

Beans and Rice, all the Americans are very thankful when we are served that for lunch. Matoke and posho are not so good and the rice with beans is amazing! I also love it when I get it at home, they call the sauce of beans soup which is amazing over rice!!

I love tea time, mostly because it is a quite time for me and my family to just hang out. I love the tea as well, especially with g-nuts which are similar to peanuts but so much better. Sometimes I have it with pancakes also or the other night I got tea, popcorn! real french fries! and a chicken wing!! It was an amazing break that I truly believe was sent by God to remind me that home is not that far off and that he is far closer.

Lastly, I love devotions with my family. Nightly we read a bible passage and the accompanying article in a devotion book. The second night here I was asked to lead devotions and pray which was wonderful but daunting. The next night I was asked to lead the prayer which was even more intimidating because they literally pray for everything. But it is a cool time of worship within our family. I also love how intentionally they pray, they truly believe they can change life with their prayers which I feel like others fail to believe fully.

I am still struggling, which I do not expect to change much but there is good that does outweigh the bad. Life here is confusing and hard but wonderful and adventurous. It is rugged but a blessing. Life is simple but intricately woven with the spiritual realm. Ugandans are different and weird but my brothers and sisters in Christ. Already God has taught me so much and I am blessed to be able to go through this experience.

A few things to pray for: My knee has been hurting a lot and the 45 minute walk is tough, especially in the morning when it is uphill. Also, I have had a sore throat for a few days but I don't know if the health center is reliable enough to fix it. I miss you all terribly but Africa has more lessons to teach me before I can come home. This weekend I will be in Jinja which is about 60 kilometers away. It is supposed to be the most beautiful place in Uganda and it is the source of the Nile! I will update again when I come back on Monday!

From the Heart

Ok, so I have had a lot of emotions since I've been here, for an accurate glimpse of where my heart is deep down here is my journal from last night.

Today was the first Sunday I got to spend with my family and attend my dad's church. I love how much my family loves Jesus. Everything they do is very intentional, Church was good, very liturgical because it is Anglican but nothing can be too rigid because I am in Africa. Then we ate a delicious lunch that had beef! My first time having meat with my family, and popo-papaya! Although all of this is wonderful there is a constant sadness that bring me to tears almost daily. I desperately miss home. I miss family, Chris and friends who know me deeply and intimately. Nothing here feels comfortable or sure-EVERYTHING is different. i want people who speak my language. I don't want to fall asleep listening to mice scurrying around my bedroom. I don't want to kill another bug, spider, or cockroach in my room. I'm tired if peeing in a hole that reeks. I don't want to have to take a shower out of a bucket outside in a 3 walled concrete slab with no door or roof that is next to the latrine so it too reeks. I want to see other white people on a constant basis. I know they call this culture stress or culture shock but I don't care, I want to go home. I still don't know why I am here, I feel like I am just going through my days waiting for the next one. I intentionally try to present everywhere I go but it just makes me feel more isolated. I carry my phone everywhere hoping for a call or text from home. I dread doing my laundry again by hand. I love walking to school but I am tired of men proposing to me or asking me to come home with them. I want someone to know me, not just want me sexually or for my money because I am white. Even this morning when I was about to leave for church my mom, who I love, said she liked my dress and then asked if "maybe I will leave it for here when I go home." I am lonely, confused, used up, exhausted, and all together tired of Africa. The "honeymoon" is over and I want to go home. I do not want to be pitied and I am not constantly feeling like this bu tin the quietness of night, or when someone brings up family, friends or Chris or when I am journaling the sadness creeps in. I have intentionally not journaled this before because I did not want to think about it but in truthfulness this is hard. Everyday brings struggles. How can I do another 95 of these days? A popular African saying is "slowly by slowly," unfortunately I am ready for it to be over now. I want to go home.

A Lazy Rainy Friday Afternoon

So , its about 3:30 on Friday, I'm sitting in our IMME quarters listening to the rain fall softly outside. That is one of the wonderful things about Uganda, it rains consistently every afternoon. So, each day I sit with the door open reading or doing homework and enjoying the rain that is usually so sparse in Phoenix. I thought I would use this time to catch you up on daily African life...

First off, the Ugandans are notorious for going to be late and getting up before any one ever should think to. So my dad usually includes waking up between 6 and 6:30 usually to faith screaming or laughing. Yesterday I woke up to the loud commotion of my mom spraying Raid in her eyes...not good! Then I usually go right to my lovely bucket shower. They realized since I am a Mzungu-white person, that I would have a lot of difficulty if they did not also provide me with a cup to wash my hair out. Then I have breakfast which is always tea with bread, once now I have been given eggs. Then I'm off to school, there are 4 other IMME students who live close by so I have always had a walking companion for most of the way. My days at school are all vastly different, the class schedule is not done on any schedule at all. Class is when it is convenient for the teacher so it can change often. At 10:30 it is tea time again where I have a choice between milk tea and black tea. Then usually back to class until lunch time from 1-2. The afternoons either are full of class or homework, there are hundreds of pages of reading each week and the books are located, hopefully, in one of the three libraries. Then tea time again at 4:30...as you can tell they take their tea time very seriously. We usually leave to walk home at about 6 and I arrive home around seven. Tea, is again, promptly served as soon as I walk in the door. I then sit with Rachel, my adopted house sister, and she teaches me how to cook matoke-unripe bananas that have the consistency of mashed potatoes, cassava-a root that is pretty gross, rice and beans. Last night we had cooked pumpkin! When my dad comes home we usually watch the news together or he teaches me a little language. We have family devotion at 8:30 until whenever dinner is ready. Devotions is a sweet time where we read from a devotional book, and the Bible. Then we all discuss the application it has to our lives. I have been able to lead the devotion once and the prayer once. Their prayers are almost like sermons, they pray for literally everything but it is a really intimate time. Then dinner is usually ready. At dinner I am usually exhausted so they let me go to sleep as soon as it is over. A few times I have actually gone to sleep before Faith does. My family is pretty modern in that they let me serve myself and we talk at dinner. In very traditional families they do not talk around the dinner table but the first day my dad told me they do not do that because it is the best family time (just like at home!) so we should not waste it. My parents have realized my habits and are no longer offended when I go to sleep right away. In fact, a few days ago my mom told me I eat very little (they eat a ton!) and sleep very much. And that ends my day which starts the same the next day! Life has a bit more of a routine now so it more relaxing.

Tomorrow we are going to an introduction ceremony and a wedding if we have time! An introduction ceremony is when a woman introduces who her husband will be, before the ceremony they have dated but it is after he asks to marry her that they have the ceremony. It is a huge deal, even bigger than most weddings. It is also full of tradition and good food! I will wear the traditional clothes and it will take a lot of the day. In Ugandan culture, the friends pretty much pay for the wedding and bring gifts to help the new couple, similar to our engagement parties and showers but more. I am very excited to see this part of the culture, be anxious for my next post when I will tell you all about it. For now, I am off, my family should be calling soon!!!